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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Transparent

by High Hopes

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1.
Psych 03:16
Where were you when I was all alone at your backdoor Did you hear me screaming at your guise Trying to get beneath your core Now I’m wasting space beneath my psyche Trying to get back to a mind that’s right I know your just fine Staying disinclined To give back what was mine Cause you’re not here now (pulling me down again) And there’s no fear now (pulling me down) I only wanted honesty That offered me some closure I hated all your ethics As a slave to your composure You’re always playing the martyr I’m always sitting a few steps behind And this space feels vacant Stuck somewhere in between What I thought was enough for you My only hope was to see this through Through the rise and imminent fall
2.
Resolve 03:01
I’m running out of empty spaces Earning baggage from common faces A static nomad That won’t outlast the day The absent noise The grind in my teeth A testament to what’s laid beneath Spent ambition, fallen short of grace I’m begging for peace of mind now Steadfast effortless to the cause If I fall asleep again being dormant What does that say for my portrait Am I even constructing one at all All I know Is that I’m making excuses for the unknown I’m fighting for clarity To determine where I’ll be Pushing forward to unmask my resolve My nerve is weak With a month looking bleak I pull the covers up over my head And these walls seem desperate To keep me confined I can’t determine if I’m hoarding or if I’m losing time Feel like I’m losing my goddamn mind
3.
New Low 03:13
Don’t let me down I feel just like I’m fading Revolving circles in your room I always felt like a ghost when you called out my lapses in judgement Through the ruse I lay below the space that’s in between The solitude and confinement I wait there now to let the discord and static die down In a space of my own In the new low Picking up all the pieces that I knew that should have let go You’ll find me right here Discontent but aware I’m always chasing the scene that know just can’t compare And im always keeping my fists below the waist From fighting the gravity that’s keeping them down My muscles ache in the absence of your aid But who am I to say that maybe That things could change Change and be different I got used to the thought that things might not be the same Its always the same
4.
Like a Ghost 02:19
5.
Spun 03:29
Hide your lead Give me some time I want to feel home in my, skin I want the chance to crawl outside my own boundaries Bridge the gap and repair my foundries (my mold’s been wearing thin) And lately Ive been confessing all my sins at the ceiling Hoping they’d find their meaning (find their meaning) Is this really all I can feel Numb to progress hidden in the veil Buried under the last stone I skipped out on long ago What have I’ve done (Getting spun in a vicious spiral) Separated from everyone (Like a ghost I’m transparent) Look what I’ve become (And I’m lost now, Now I’m stranded here) New a new start (I take the blame everywhere) Can I come up with a reason For my own self treason (To reflect my state of being) I told them that I gave up looking for now And if I cut the ties with all my allies (Does the selfish guilt fade to gray) I told my self there’s no going back now I’m wait deep in my own apathy (False prophet spilling lies that are weak) I’m losing ground getting frail in the knees But still standing I walk on Still standing I walk on Lately I’ve been confessing all my sins at the ceiling Hoping they’d find their meaning (Separated from everyone Look what I’ve become)
6.
Patience 02:57
Last night you came crashing through my window The shards of glass embedded in red I saw your reflection out on the fragments They showed all the hindrance in your head And all of the burdens unshed But I’m no savior I’m hardly vigilant from repeating all the questions in your stead Why do I feel like I waste my time Drifting out of line Yet its your demise That seems to occupy all my mind So why the disdain Why the test of your patience cascading your veins Can you admit now that your hallowed out If I dare to call your bluff What consequence is there in return Your guilt is bare but its not enough The lights delay as you toss and turn If I made you an offer that you couldn’t refuse Would you stay where you are, live life in recluse
7.
Vagabond 03:10
Yesterday I was honest But today I would fall Face first in the inferno again Testing my promise to god A simple pawn been devoid of plan Only asking how long I feel just like a vagabond Drifting forward Floating through With simple words of little use (Moving forward with little use) Just tell me what am I supposed to be I can’t feel human without Anything to believe Please don’t ask if I’m fine I’ve gotten good at the lies We know how much you like to see things through So, lets not make this one an exception But its not like it mattered Its not well in the new low And all All I can think about Is this all All that I have to show For the scars on my hands I feel just like a vagabond

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released September 11, 2020

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High Hopes Fargo, North Dakota

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